Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Womanly comportment...hand placement

So a friend sent me this link to Bitter BettyBlogs the topic being standing positions and what to do with ones ladylilke hands and arms. Interesting tutorial. I can remember some of the advice in this vein in many a publication of my very early youth.

One friends reaction: "Ha ha, the look on the model's face is like, "what is this bullsh*t I'm doing!?" The slenderizing position looks like you're afraid your butt is going to fall of if you let go! AH, but my very favorite! I think we should all go somewhere and express pertness! HAHAHAHAHA! It looks like her arms got put on backwards at the fembot factory! HAHAHA! Oh, and for the love of GOD, the big girls better not let their arms be akimbo! (what?!) It doesn't say why, just don't do it."

Another friends reaction: "I practiced these for a while (in front of a mirror of course!) first #2 to “slenderize the hip line” then I moved on to #3 to “minimize the waistline” but came to a dead STOP when I read “Warning to the overweight” about this position requiring the arms to be akimbo and that I should avoid this-----what the heck??!! If I wasn’t overweight, I wouldn’t be trying to “minimize my waistline”!!! But, I do have to say I agree with you...let’s all go somewhere and express pertness! Or what the heck maybe a cowboy’s (shouldn’t that be cowgirl) hand position----that should be attractive but I’ll make sure I do it symmetrically…"

I remember “Charm School.” YES, I *DID* attend Charm School. I was unimaginably young, the year was 1958. I learned to walk, talk and in general comport myself as a LADY. DO NOT CROSS YOUR LEGS AT THE KNEE. Demurely cross them at the ankle, always holding those knees (naughty KNEES) tightly together...Cross ones little arms at the wrists demurely in the lap after sitting in this lady-like position. We actually WALKED WITH BOOKS ON OUR HEADS to practice the smooth walk. We had a fashion show and learned to walk and turn and pose, much as in this tome on hand and arm positions...hahhahha.

Well, I know how to wear gloves, and what gloves go with what occasions...hats, ditto...all augmented by my mother’s able teaching. She herself however, was NEVER accused of PERTNESS...hahhha...if you knew her you’d know that. She was a capable, assertive, able woman who did everything from knock out walls and remake our old house, to tarring the roof, growing the flowers and veges, and sewing, knitting, doll making and repair, and photography, reading and painting. But, I digress....

Yes, we should be more aware of our INNER PERTNESSES!! But seriously folks, you have to admit that this is a better image than the tattooed woman with her boobs flopping along, her flip-flops matching the rhythm, chewing her gum noisily with her mouth open, slogging through the grocery store, smacking her little ones, yelling at the top of her lungs to the man in her life who is over stuffing frozen meat into his shirt...